From Miley Cyrus covering Nirvana to Matthew Morrison covering Sisqo, we look at original songs that never should have been remade...
You know those untouchable classic songs, like Nirvana's "Smells Like
Teen Spirit" and Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach?" Well, they've been
touched... besmirched actually by a growing number of pop stars who
think they have the vocal and emotional maturity to handle such weighty
material. Excuse us if we're getting a little high falootin', but we
can't believe someone gave the green light to Avril Lavigne's cover of a
Bob Dylan song! Find out who else we can't believe butchered classic
material in our rundown of music's worst cover verisions.
Little Miss Cyrus is a classic case of a child star trying to shake off
her sickly-sweet image and slip into something a little more
uncomfortable. Her pretty floral dresses have been replaced with
Rihanna-inspired leather chaps, her dancing has become noticeably more
risqué and, instead of singing teeny-bop tunes, she's covering iconic
rock songs. Miley Cyrus covered Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" on
her recent tour -- smells more like a bad cover to us...
We're the first to admit that we're closet Gleeks -- catch us driving
home from a hard day's work and you're likely to hear "Glee"'s cover of
"Don't Stop Believin'" booming proudly from our speakers. But, despite
their talent for belting out creative covers, the "Glee" crew doesn't
always get it right. Seeing Matthew Morrison perform Sisqó's "Thong
Song" on the show was one of the most cringeworthy, yet hilarious music
moments ever.
Back in the day, we thought Britney Spears loved anything pink, sparkly
and girly, so she surprised everyone when she decided to tell the world
that, despite her pop back-catalogue, she actually loved rock 'n'
roll... Britney covered "I Love Rock 'n' Roll," which was made famous by
Joan Jett & the Blackhearts in 1982 and, despite her best attempts
to writhe around in leather on top of a motorbike in her music video,
Britney was about as much of a rocker as Marilyn Manson is a Sunday
school teacher...
It seems that Jessica Simpson wanted an excuse to strut around in
ridiculously short denim hot pants and cowboy boots so, naturally, she
decided to cover Nancy Sinatra's "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'." Not
only did the cover stink like well-walked-in cowboy boots, but the
music video managed to undo all of the hard work that feminists have
done for women throughout the last hundred years in just three
minutes...
Before she was dipped in super-shiny L.A. paint, Kelly Osbourne fancied
herself as a bit of a rock star. Donning a grungy style and an
angst-filled attitude to match, she covered Madonna's "Papa Don't
Preach." The verdict? Kelly Don't Sing...
What unites a lot of the artists responsible for cover version crimes is
a lack of self-awareness. Once you've opened up your dysfunctional
family life to the reality TV cameras it's probably hard to judge when
you've gone too far. For example, you might not realize that destroying
Black Sabbath's 1972 masterpiece "Changes," by rewriting it and
re-recording it as a soppy duet with your daughter, might be a bad idea.
If you've not heard it, imagine two stray dogs howling at a karaoke
machine.
We're sure many great cover versions have emerged simply because the
artist in question was crazy enough to take a risk. However, such
questionable sanity has also been responsible for some of music's most
heinous crimes. No one, we repeat, absolutely no one ever wondered what
Canadian "Titanic" warbler Celine Dion would sound like singing AC/DC.
Except, it seems, Celine herself.
Bob Dylan's "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" was written for the soundtrack
of the brutal 1973 western "Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid." The words
reflect the dying thoughts of a once ruthless deputy sheriff. Who better
to interpret such an iconic and unambiguous classic than
pre-packaged-punk popster Avril Lavigne? The Canadian purveyor of smudge
eyeliner and artificial angst performed the song regularly on her Try
To Shut Me Up Tour. We tried. We really tried.
Another important rule when tackling a much-loved song is making sure
that you, erm, actually know the song you're singing. We're pretty sure
U.S. soul giants Boyz II Men can't have actually heard Take That's 1995
classic "Back For Good." If they had, this horrendous cover from last
year's "Love" album might have in some way resembled the original tune.
We've heard the demo version featuring Girls Aloud's Nadine Coyle and it
sounds like an attempt to break the world record for singing as many
unpleasant notes as possible.
Limp Bizkit covered George Michael's "Faith," on their 1997 album "Three
Dollar Bill, Yall$." Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Hee hee hee hee hee hee! Oh dear. No, but seriously, Fred Durst and his
band of bearded, backwards cap wearing, overgrown skate punks... no,
sorry, it's no good. Ah ha ha ha ha ha. Limp Bizkit covering George
Michael! Snrk, pssst, guffaw, hrnk... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Miley Cyrus "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
Matthew Morrison "Thong Song"
Britney Spears "I Love Rock 'n' Roll"
Jessica Simpson "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'"
Kelly Osbourne "Papa Don't Preach"
Ozzy and Kelly Osbourne "Changes"
Celine Dion "You Shook Me All Night Long"
Avril Lavigne "Knockin' On Heaven's Door"
Boyz II Men "Back For Good"
Limp Bizkit "Faith"
